Yeah... prepare yourself for a good old time.
So I am pregnant right?
And when you are pregnant you have to go to see a Dr. Right?
So that is just what my plans were for the day. I get up a little bit earlier than normal because I have to get Hailey ready, Landon ready, and myself ready. I have been planning my Dr. visits early in the morning so I am not waiting forever in the lobby...
SO I do a GREAT job getting everyone ready! I pull up to the school; help Hailey get out of the car; give her a big hug and kiss and watch her little legs run to the play area. I just love this every morning. As long as we are a little early she has a few minutes to play and that makes her happy! Now the mornings that the bell rings as she is getting our of her seat is another story! So I jump back in the car; put on my seat belt and head to the Dr. Office.
I pull up to the office with about 5 minutes to spare. (Stupid Traffic; I had planned on having an extra 10 minutes; I guess I am not used to the morning rush...) I go to unlock my seat belt and it is stuck. I usually do this without having to look so I look down and I realize what I have done. So it is chilly outside so I am wearing a jacket. Today the jacket of choice was my Juicy Couture jacket. It is just a normal black warm jacket; on the zipper part is a little "J". And my friends that little J is my new enemy...
Somehow when I jumped back into the car after dropping off Hailey the "J" conveniently got pulled into the seat belt lock while I was putting on my seat belt. You think I am kidding... no... this is not a joke. SO needless to say this prego begins to panic. Landon who has learned to un-do his seat belt is already out of his seat waiting for me to open his door. Here I am in a sitting position trying with ALL MY MIGHT to push that stupid red button down to release my pregnant belly from the belt. I try a few times and realize that I am STUCK...
WHAT WOULD YOU DO...???
Landon patted my head and said "It is OK Mommy, Daddy can fix it!" He tries a few times telling me "All you do is push the red button mommy..." yeah I was at that time WISHING my son was some kind of secret superhero and was going to save my life...
Oh... did I mention that I am in a dress? Oh, I forgot that part. So I pull myself together; by this time I have a few tears running down my face and say "You are a GROWN WOMAN GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER!" and I come up with my plan... I am going to wiggle my way out of this seat belt. No problem right? Ugh... PROBLEMS!!!
Problem #1 ~ My jacket is still ON my body, and the zipper part is STUCK... imagine having a seat belt on and trying to take your jacket off...
Problem #2 ~ imagine you are pregnant trying to do that... I don't know many people that can maneuver that trick when they are NOT pregnant. And I am between 7-8 months pregnant people... we are not talking just a little baby bump... we are talking a HUGE BUMP!!
Problem #3 ~ I have a dress on. Wiggling my way out of the belt in normal clothes would have been hard... add in that dress and I can assure you there was more than one wardrobe malfunction...
Problem #4 ~ I am between crying and laughing at this point at the thought of anyone seeing this monstrosity... again I have to remind myself to PULL IT TOGETHER!!
I finally break free...
I have to admit my first thought was "you are FREE cheesy bread... FREE!" (anyone remember that commercial)
After twisting and turning and pushing and tears I finally got myself free!! I quickly fix my clothing mess and slam my door. I open the door for Landon who knows that mommy is a HOT MESS... I walk into the office COLD and SAD. No jacket on and I am getting stares like what is wrong with this lady... it is not summer! It is JANUARY! My son has a jacket on so at least I can still win mother of the year... I sign in, and by this time I am a few minutes late. DANG IT!
So I text Matt about my special morning and he does not respond. I have my apt. have a great time, and head back to the car. I had just about forgotten about the whole thing; put Landon in his seat and head over to my side of the car and then I opened the car door... and I remembered.
So NOW... how do I drive without a seat belt? I am HORRIFIED at the very thought that I am going to have to drive home and the ONE time I don't wear my belt and I am pregnant I am going to get into a crash...
SO I call Matt because he still has not responded to my text about being stuck. As I tell him the story I can hear him laughing. At this point it was a little funny to me, but I was still in a predicament. So he tells me to drive by his work so he can have a look at it. I decided I would drive EXTRA safe and I just swing the top belt over myself for half protection and head to his work.
I pull up and he comes out laughing. I get out of the seat and he looks at me and realizes I was not kidding. It takes him a few minutes of tugging, pushing and pulling on the belt and then it comes loose. I can tell he is trying not to laugh hysterically and tells me he better get back to work.
I jump back into the car; grab the "J" zipper thing and hold it in one hand as I carefully put the belt into the lock and head on my way home... what a GREAT start to my day... right?!
(the bottom of the "J" was caught in the side of the belt... holding the red button from releasing)
I felt like this little kid...
I swear this kind of stuff ONLY happens to me!!
2 comments:
HILARIOUS!
Remind me to tell you about the time I wedged myself between two cars thinking I could "suck in" my baby bump! Or when a car parked too close to me and I had to try and crawl over from the passenger side. Classic :)
What a story! I'm glad Matt was able to get it unstuck but what an ordeal. I jammed my keys into the seatbelt holder once. Totally thought it was my seatbelt. Oops!
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