Friday, February 5, 2010

WHY??

WHY do I look in the mirror after getting out of the shower? That is the question I asked myself ALL day yesterday... When I look at myself for too long I tend to pay TOO much attention to who I used to be, and what I thought I would always look like...
Before I was married I had what I thought was a GREAT body... I practically had a six pack, my thick thighs were toned, my calf's were strong, my arms had "mini guns" when I flexed them, my breasts were perky and a perfect size, and my overall feeling about myself was never threatened...
Fast forward to now... Almost seven years of marriage and two children later; My six pack is GONE! In its place is a mountain of stretch marks and flab. My thighs are STILL thick, but where did my tone go? OH that is right the tone has left... my calf's are not strong anymore from running, they are tired from running after my kids. My "guns" are still there, but they don't seem to be the same... actually they might be a little bigger after carrying kids around. And last but not least my breasts... oh, WHERE did they go? WHAT are they doing down there? WHY do people breastfeed again?? My overall feeling about myself has become VERY threatened.

Sure, people tell me I am a Strong Beautiful Mother... but how?

Just after having my first child I found myself crying about what I had done to myself. My husband would try to console me, but HE DOES NOT KNOW! What does HE have to go through to get a baby... lets not talk about that... it is not fair...

My friends tell me I am nuts, and I look great. But they are LYING! Maybe not all of them because some of them do not know what I looked like before kids.

My clothes are the only ones who tell the truth. Items that fit nicely now cringe when I try to pull them on. I appreciate them for letting me know I have changed, and this is not the change I had wanted OR planned for!

WHY did no one tell me that I would feel like this?
I know I know... I am my WORST enemy! If I am SO upset at what has happened WHY don't I do something about it? Well I AM!

I needed to take that GOOD HARD LOOK in the mirror. I needed to HIT BOTTOM to know I need to get back to the top! (oh, I did not even look at my bottom... we'll leave that for a whole other post) I am going to WORK at myself! Being a mother; I tend to help others with their needs before I help myself, and I just decided I AM GOING TO HELP MYSELF!
Thank You for listening to me whine... now lets work together at helping OURSELVES! I know most of you who read this are mothers... you either do, did, or will feel the same way I do right now. I hope that rather than you letting your body get the best of you, you let it get you motivated! I am SICK and tired about crying about the stretch marks and the sagginess! I am going to change my mind and my body for the better! I am taking myself back!!

WHO IS WITH ME???

3 comments:

Nichole said...

well I am. I miss my six pack and unjiggling legs and but. That's why I'm going yoga (or am trying too.)

Kristen said...

I hear ya! My clothes fit about the same, but my body is NOT the same underneath... no longer toned, and my stomach is a bunch of flab and stretch marks, too.
I know that I feel better each day when I get up, get dressed, do my hair and makeup.
But I'll probably feel 10 times better if I am exercising every day too! Thanks for the pep talk and motivation!! : )

Cami said...

um, all i can say is at least you don't have a dent in your butt from a shot you had to get this summer because you were covered in hives. Big dent. My butt. Getting bigger. Can't do anything about it. Thanks modern medicine